My Week In Film (5/11 - 5/17)

The Girl Can't Help It (1956)
(Directed by Frank Tashlin)

Well, yeah, that's the point, right? Anyway, give me Julie London any day.

Actually, my least favorite Tashlin so far

I don't know. I didn't find the leads very appealing and for every sequence that was gold (the best one was the Julie London one, by far, it's like something out of Vertigo), there were too many long lulls (or music performances that weren't particularly interesting to me). Probably the funniest joke is near the end is when that gangster puts his hands in front of that one chick and she doesn't even respond. It's a good joke but I think the satire cuts deeper in Rock Hunter. Also I found Mansfield even more annoying than Rock Hunter. I know she's supposed to be and she's supposed to be objectified and treated like an object or whatever... but, eh, I just don't like her very much. blah blah blah. Anyway, some good music (Abbey Lincoln!) but probably too much of it. fuck that shit. Where my hip hop jams?

★★1/2

Accepted (2006)
(Directed by Steve Pink)

so, at the school I work at, they've decided to give the kids a free day or some shit so the teacher decides that they can watch a movie. A couple of the people I work with go off back to home to grab some movies that they own to see what they want to watch and some one goes to one of those red boxes. One of them comes back with a bunch of movies from their movie collection that are age-appropriate for the kiddos (pg-13 basically). In the pile I see... uh, what was it, Love & Basketball which apparently every teenage girl at this school loves?, this person also brought that chuck and larry movie and, wait for it, Norbit. Of course, I swallowed my gag reflex and smiled politely and said "nice movies" or something or other. I felt like a giant douche...

Somehow, they picked Accepted, a movie which I'd seen before for whatever reason. It was terrible the first time. And... it's still terrible.

They've stopped playing it now. I think it's around halfway through. I was right the first time around: this is a boring movie which occasionally tries to stop the boredom by saying "shit" or something or playing some terrible alternative rock song or having Lewis Black do his thing. I think there's a courtroom scene near the end, too, since he does kind of commit fraud or something. Anyway, horrible movie...

★

Next (2006)
(Directed by Lee Tamahori)

LOL

I. Couldn't. Stop. Laughing.

Nicolas Cage is without fault here. His tremendous acting and hairdo shield him from all the terrible lines the script feeds him, the retarded perfunctory camera choices, bad CGI, Julianne Moore, all cold and bitchy, and from the stupidity of Jessica Biel. Nic Cage plays Frank Cadillac which is a great, great name and he then proceeds to own everyone... because he is Nic Cage and that is what he does. You know, it really isn't all that bad of a movie until Cage fucking splits himself into 10 different Cages. Imagine that! Utopia! I don't know. This entire movie is retarded and then with the ending that completely negates everything that happened before (not that there's much to negate since the other ending was basically Cage walking around while people defend him and he tells people what to do... all in the usual Cage style), it just reaches new heights of Cagedom. Uh, who are you roujin? Also, I like how the narration happens like twice during the entire movie. Good choice! Wait, Cage produced this? No wonder he somehow beds Biel...

★

Back to the Future (1985)
(Directed by Robert Zemeckis)

eh, sure, why not...

It's good, yeah. The reasons why I think it's good are... well, hmmm. I like Fox. He's cool. I don't like Crispin Glover. I don't like anyone else really. Why do I like this movie? Well, hmmm. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I guess it's entertaining in all the cool ways and it's witty and I love the real ending with McFly inventing rock&roll and shit but... I get really annoyed when it's dragged out by a bunch of crap and the ending with the family is stupid, too. So, don't know why I liked it... this film needed more incest, tbh. Seriously, his mom is so hot and she's all horny throughout the entire movie, ready to fuck her own son. This interests me greatly.

★★★

Digital Juice (Various Dudes, 2002)



Keikaku (Hidekazu Ohara)

This was more of a trailer for a film that doesn't exist. It reminded of those Guilty Gear openings that show all these bad ass characters and action that never gets picked up on again. Anyway, it was extremely short and kind of awesome.

Chicken's Insurance (Hiroki Ando, 2002)

I really hated this one. The animation doesn't appeal to me at all and whatever story there is to this feels like it was the first fucking thing the people thought of. Basically, boring and ugly.

Kin Jin Kitto (Tatsuyuki Tanaka)

This was another glimpse one. I hardly even remember it it was so short. Anyway, sort of looked cool. A lot of these rely on flashes of narrative action, disconnected from each other, kinda. Whatever.

Tsukiyo No Ban (Kazuyoshi Yaginuma)

This one was cool. Appealing art style, pretty normal for this set. There was a really cool song playing over it. Only thing that was sort of distracting was the nudity of the main chick and the fact that there was a random feet-licking scene which kind of acted as its own punchline? Dunno, weird.

Table & Fishman (Osamu Kobayashi)

I think I saw some of Kobayashi's before. He did some directing for Paradise Kiss and Gurrenn so this wasn't a surprise. It was pretty enjoyable. I liked how at first man and woman are abstracted into being represented only by a gun and by a pair of breasts. I lol'd. Then there's some weird awesome sex (?) stuff. And, apparently, they're on a mission... It's pretty funny.

Aerial Bar (Koji Morimoto)

This is the guy who did Magnetic Rose and Noiseman Sound Insect so he's okay in my book. It's told in various fade to blacks, showing one action or two, and there's very little continuity until finally you realize who you are... It's very weird with a pretty cool style (which I think Mamoru Oshii picks up later on in another one of his films?) but...

Basically, this whole collection feels like a bunch of messing around with new technology (of 2002 standards) and they're only interesting up to that point to me. But, not a boring way to spend 20 minutes, I guess. These dudes would take all the cool stuff they mess around here and just apply it to Mind Game, anyway, so I guess there's no point...

overall ★1/2

Pale Cocoon (Yasuhiro Yoshiura)

Some interesting ideas but bad execution and what's up with the terrible pop song at the end? What? This one is pretty freaking beautiful and I liked all the shots of the one girl just letting what I assume is snow (or fallout?) just fall over her. I think the story gets muddled too much by the end like most anime ones do (and this is only 20 minutes as well). Anyway, Earth is beautiful, whoa we're going to lose her!

Makes me want to watch Voices of a Distant Star...

★★1/2

She and Her Cat (1997)
(Directed by Makoto Shinkai)

It's so great. Love the B&W animation and how at points it has this cool graininess to it. Anyway, it's all narration done by the cat as he observes his owner and how she feels lonely and their life. There's lots of fade to blacks that feel completely perfect. It's also funny as the cat says that he has a girlfriend on the side but his owner is his true adult lover. Anyway, I've always felt that this was kind of perfect and this confirms it. It's probably Shinkai's best.


Jhon's Movie of the Week is. . . She and Her Cat
★★★1/2